Comments to 1.26.06

TrixieBelden said...

Dear Red-Haired Southerner,

Incompetence is in ample supply in this darkened hell hole, and sadly it seems you contain more than your share. How lucky we are to have such a person as you here to teach us what we already learned in high school. I don’t care to see pictures of your family, nor hear stories about your wonderful four-year-old Dalmatian named Laura.“It’s called rectangle.”No shit, bingo.

Ignoringly yours,
- Competent Technology User

Nick Gunzburg said...

Dear Mobile Phone,

I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! *SMASH SMASH SMAHS* I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! *SMASH SMASH CRUNCH* I'LL TEAR OPEN YOUR CASSING AND AND POOR THE ACID FROM YOUR BATTERY OVER YOUR MANGLED CIRCUTS AND USE YOUR SIMCARD AS A GUITAR PICK! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! *SMASH SMASH SMASH*

With slight disaffection,
- A Broken Ear

Anonymous said...

Dear Ginourmous Bruise,

I regret to inform you that your size and color are making all the other bruises slightly jealous. They used to equally disgust and annoy me but now you are stealing there attentions. Their only saving grace seems to be the fact that you are in too awkward of a spot for me to show you off. I must admit I am rather proud of you but for the sake of the other bruises feelings it would be quite nice if you faded away just a smidgem.

Always looking out for you,
- The Horrible Hockey Player