Red Alert

Dear Morning Eye Opener,

Please close up shop. No one wants to see that sort of madness at such an hour of the day. Night is the language of rock. Rock the cock. Stunt the cunt. Take some mad pills and erase the rest. You only need so much. Don't call it foreplay. Foreplay is what we call the actions of which the importance of we are attempting to downplay. But all of it's fun to me. Foreplay doesn't even exist because it's all business when I get down to business. The messier the better. Hell, you can just take a bath later. Smoke a cigarette. Drink a cup of coffee. The morning eye opener.

Get back to work,
- The Bearded Bandit