Sunday is the New Letters Thursday

Dear Raunchy,

Fuck you.

Too late,
- A Loving Friend

Comments to 4.16.06

TrixieBelden said...

Dear Unsure Femme,

To think of you whilst sleeping with someone else. I'll admit, I'm a bitch. I'm a horrible person who should rot in Hades and have my eyes poked out with flaming spears of death ray power and be roasted over open coals and forced to eat myself without any bar-be-que sauce. But it's ok, I don't mind, because you are gorgeous.

Love,
- Flustered Femme

Nick Gunzburg said...

Dear 2:38 am,

I dont care how late or early you are, im going to watch me some Never Mind The Buzzcocks!

Armed with a handheld TV with shit reception,
- A Wannabe Panellist

Anonymous said...

that is the funniest show...jess

Dylan Watkins said...

Dear Jess,

That is not in letter form, you better not let that happen ever again.

Signed,
- The Commander

Anonymous said...

Finals,

You suck up the ass. I hope that you choke on a penny , and die, or at least go away ... Didn't I pay enough for college to at least get that?

- Screwballs

TrixieBelden said...

Dear Assorted Persons,

1 I like you. 2 I lust after you. 3 I could spend the rest of my life with you. 4 I think you could be the one I've always dreamed of.1 Not enough to stay with you. 2 You won't ever want me. 3 Maybe you like me too? 4 But it's too late for us.

Love,
- Your Favorite Whore

Nick Gunzburg said...

Dear Letters Thursday,

Hey man, dont go the way of the letters monday!

Happly waiting in the queue,
- Letters Sunday

Friday is the New Thursday (Letters Tenth Anniversary)

Dear Referendum '06,

God damn you are such a bitch. There is so much I could tell you right now to try and sway your opinion of who and what matters, but why waste my breath? Well, of course I will be breathing anyway, but it is more of a saying that means "why waste the effort" you asshole. Hand me that newspaper, I'm so glad we get the Financial Times for free. Us students are entirely interested in financial shit. Even though the ASNMU prez was quoted saying she knows that students are poor, she still thinks we need this sort of newspaper? I wish that bitch wouldn't be so paradoxical. Fucking mold a hamburger and put it in your axe wound.

I am not a crook,
- Gene Simmons

Comments to 4.07.06

TrixieBelden said...

Dear Butt Face,

I wish I had known how cool you were two years ago so we could have been friends then. And you said you wish you had known two years ago that I was this cool, so you could be friends with me. Are you implying you wish you had met me first, because you really wanna fuck me?I'll assume that's what you mean.

Best regards,
- The Other VS

Nick Gunzburg said...

Dear Rus Goodman,

Hey Rus, hows it going? I've always wondered where the name 'Rus' came from. Maybe its short for 'Rusty' wich is short for 'Rustic'. Because we all know that your a farmin yokle from Mississippi. Don't try to hide it behind those snazzy shirts and con artist hair, we know the real you. You were born in a vegetable field with all the other onions.

With a judging ear
- A Radio-X Fan