Nine! Nine!! Nine!!! Nine!!!! Nine!!!!! Nine!!!!!! Nine!!!!!!! Nine!!!!!!!! Nine!!!!!!!!!

Dear Fashion Bug,

No, wait, don't tell me, you're a taurus! Am I right?

Fabulous,
- Freddy Dingo

Comments to 3.30.06

Nick Gunzburg said...

Dear Chav Brittan,

What the hell are you?! You dress in your Burberry pladness and golden cressed madness, but what are you? You hate baseball but you wear the cap of a yankee, your underclass but bath your self in shiney metalic garments. Chavs, Hoodies, Neds, Townies, Kevs, Charvers, Steeks, Spides, Bazzas, Yarcos, Ratboys, Kappa Slappers, Skangers, Scutters, Janners, Stigs, Scallies, Hood Rats, whatever you want to be called, you will never achieve the status you aim for cause your trainers are just to white for this world. Get out of my way as a walk past the homeless music man in the town centre, for i have no title and am far superior.

Culturally bewildered,
- A Cross Long Coat Wearer

TrixieBelden said...

Dear Crazy Pants,

You make me feel like I should apologize but oh wait, I didn't do anything. You act like such a god damn girl. I need a relationship in which I can be the girl. Thank goodness for Starbucks dates.

Not in love, or like, or affection with you,
- Lovely, Anonymous Person

Time for L8ers Thursday

Dear Uncommitted Bassist,

I've heard of pre-arranged circumstances, but this is just too much! The band is falling apart at the seems (aaarrghhhh!!!), it is becoming all too clear to me now. You seem to believe that life is playground and that you are aloud to leave the swing set. I tell you what though, when you try to get off a swing set that is still in motion, you fall hard onto the ground. I just hope you expect to be unprepared for the landing. Bitch.

At least I've got skillz,
- Guitarist

Comments to 3.23.06

Anonymous said...

Dear Dreams,

You suck! You're too abstract and constantly making me wake up angry or with really bad songs stuck in my head. I don't even remember most of you until I start yelling at people about things they never actually did. I guess it was just a dream. God those songs are aweful. I hate you, you're ruining my life!!!

Except that one time... that one time was nice... mmmm... real nice.

Involuntarily yours,
- The Sleeper

TrixieBelden said...

Dear Guitarist,

Fuck you.

At least I've got grammar skills,
- Sorry-I've-got-a-Life-Outside-the-Basement-Bassist

Nick Gunzburg said...

Deer Speling,

Yor naught teh moast importent theng en mai leif.

-Thuh Gai whith ay Bloo Pincel

Come the 7th Thursday, the Letters Rested

Fuck that, yo!!!

Dear Professor,

Thanks for replying to my e-mail in such speedy regard. You are a whole lot of help when it comes to doing well in this class. Your direction and guidance has had an imeasurably wonderful effect on me. How did you realize you were meant for such a calling? If God didn't direct you, then fate surely has. And you wanna know something? Writing a 20-page research paper that is REQUIRED should only be worth 10% of a student's grade. I mean, it's not really a big effort to do a shit-ton of research and write your fucking life away. How are you so wonderfully wise and amazing? I hope I can be a as great a professor as you someday.

Just kidding,
- Star Shine (Motherfucker)

Comments to 3.16.06

TrixieBelden said...

Dear Rectangle,

It seems you are destined to continue your lonely existance. Sorry I scratched you, but everytime I have a thought requiring clawing, you are there. You support my every emotion and mood. You let me dream all the stupid ideas in my head and you never talk back and you never criticize. And you are damn comfortable.

Love,
- You Know Who

Nick Gunzburg said...

Dear Room,

You are clean and organised for once in your live, enjoy it while it lasts.

With pride,
- A Habitualy Messy Student

Anonymous said...

Dear A,

As second letter in the alphabet, I feel you have held the top position for long enough. Despite your reign for thousands of years, you have failed to achieve a satifactory vocabulary. Other letter such as S have accumulated nearly twice the number of words that start with them. Therefore I am demanding your immediate resignation as first letter to allow for the free and peacful election of a new first letter.

Respectfully yours,
- B

Sexth. . . . . .Oh, I Mean Sixth Thursday. . . . . .I Mean Letters Friday

Dear Letters Thursday,

Sorry that I forgot you.

With nothing else to say,
- Banana Split

Comments tp 3.03.06

TrixieBelden said...

Dear Possible Truth,

I don't want to admit you, not to anyone else and especially not to myself. I didn't even really think about you until today, and now this fear is consuming me. If you really ARE the truth, your being in hiding has put me in a delicate situation. God damn it I am not smart enough to deal with this. I don't even know how to begin to figure you and your nasty little secrets out.

Pissed and scared,
- Possible Liar

Anonymous said...

Dear Suicidal Fish,

I had no idea you were even missing much less dead, yet today when I was cleaning the floor there was your dead dried out carcass. How long have you been dead? Why did you feel the need to jump? Did you see a mirage of a lake of freedom outside the tank? I guess these are questoins that will forever remain unanswered. I only hope that your soul can now forever rest in peace in the dumpster.

- One who Cares for Fish

Anonymous said...

Dear Dylan,

Don't feel too bad. I missed Thursday AND Friday.

More of a forgetful loser than you,
- Letter Saturday

Nick Gunzburg said...

(on letters Sunday)

Dear Amazingly Cool Green Jacket,

I found you among the millions of extrordinaraly amazing items in Camden Market. Out of all the brilliantly designed jumpers, the skillfully knit hats, and the cleveryly stocked trinkets, you were the one that jumped out and attacked me from behind with your wizard like qualities and pointed hood wich makes me think that i belong on an amazing adventure when i put you on. You were the best, the perfect fit, and you were only 30 quid.

A very content bargain hunter
- The Camden Goer

Anonymous said...

Dear Tretcherous Bottle,

Oh abandoner of correct labeling habits You have caused a great disruption within my life. The others have utterly abandoned me in my day of plight. I hope that you are utterly satisfied.

- A orange smurf